we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
