Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
