had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
