And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
