see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize