time to smoke my breakfast
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
