I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
