how can u be prego again
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
