i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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