It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
