16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
