TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
