Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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