That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
