smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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