you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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