It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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