On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
