when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
