I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize