Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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