Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
