hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
not ubering you a puppy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
