She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Randomize
