My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
