he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
