Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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