we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize