The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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