I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
