she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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