see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Barsexuality is the new black.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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