It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you so shy because you have an std?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
