when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
