bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
