Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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