chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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