Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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