as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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