she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
