no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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