My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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