new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
