I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
