yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
is that a dick in a sweater?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
