He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
