There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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