Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize