i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
