if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
