So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
