let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
whose parrot is this?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize