I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
