Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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