He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
