You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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