wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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