You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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