Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
