we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
