you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
