Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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