just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was born a porn star she said
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
