I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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