Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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