I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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