I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize