I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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