Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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