i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
